making the most of my situation

Well as you have read in past posts i had been preparing for an interview. I had that interview and i waited 5 long days to get the results of that interview.Well yesterday i got those results. i regret to inform everyone that i will not be a Second Assistant Manager at Safeway at the time being.

I can't exactly tell you where i fell short or why i didn't get the job. to be honest that interview was the first interview i had ever really had so i have no idea if i did good or bad. I feel like my answers were generic and maybe too textbook? Also i don't know if i left giving them a good impression of who i was or what i had to offer. it is difficult for me to take this news of not getting the job because this is something i have tried hard to get. i didn't come from a highly successful parents. They weren't super hard workers and they never shrived to be managers. I feel like because of this getting the mind set of a manager is harder and has taken longer for me to understand. Confidence in my management skills and my work is something i desperately need to work on and i am trying my best. it is weird for me because as a person out side of work i feel like i have a ton of confidence and really like myself and what i stand for but as soon as i get to work i feel lost and out of control. I feel like whatever i do won't be right, won't be enough.

With this in mind i an going to be going to the issaquah Safeway. this was advised by the District manager that interviewed me. i was #4 (out of 10 people interviewed) in line for the 3 job openings and he see's that i can develope and become a good manager so they are moving me so that i will be able to be more successful without the distractions that are currently at the store i work at now (friends/boyfriend) Drew (my current store manager0 said he didn't know if he neccessarly wanted me to go til after the new year but i told him i rather move sooner than later so that i felt like a was moving forward in some way. I feel i am at a stand still in my job currently and that i probably another reason why i was so disappointed with not getting the job. I am only 25 years old and i know that i have a lot to offer the world and i know that i can do great things. i just wanna feel like i am always working towards that goal and i don't know when i will find myself feeling like i don't need to move forward and really i hope i never stop trying to improve myself and my way of life.

So within a week or two i will be heading to the Issaquah Safeway. i am a bit fearful because i don't know how well i am at meeting new people. I know is school (both high school and collage0 i was super shy and didn't really make tons of friends. Currently at my job people think i am out going and lively and will make friends quickly, i on the other hand am not so sure. Of course i haven't been in a situation where i have had to meet new people in quite a long time and it will be interesting to see how i handle it. i would love to be able to say i am an out going girl, i never have thought of myself that way.

Wish me luck and i just hope that this is a step forward rather then pushing me back into my shell and destroying my little confidence i have.

interview nervousness

well my interview for second assistant store manager is tomorrow and i am starting to get a bit nervous! i feel like i have prepared but i know myself and i know that i am bound to stumble over my words... i just hope that i don't sound like a complete moron! I am also putting a lot of pressure on myself because i need to get this job to keep my track going because if i don't get it if feel like i am going to completely deflate and just settle with being a checker forever... plus the pay raise would be really great!

In addition i have been on my diet for 7 days and i have lost 4lbs! i got a lot more to lose but i'm proud that i made it through a week!

anyways nothing else really to write about but i'll keep u up to date on the job... they said they will be decided by the beginning of next week

bit's a pieces

Well there have been a few well no too interesting things going on lately so i thought i'd do a short blog with just a few recaps on things here and there.

* I have been preparing for my interview to become second assistant at Safeway. The interview is on the 17th of November and will be a panel interview with Brett our district manager, Signe our HR rep and maybe another store manager. I'm a bit nervous but i think I'm kinda prepared. i can only do as best as i can do and if it's not good enough then I'm just not ready. I'm just afraid that i'm just wanna give up.

* I've been trying my best to hang out with all my friends lately because i really do love them all and wish i could spend all my free time with all of them. Last weekend i had lunch with crystal and her son at the Cheesecake factory and then this weekend i had breakfast with Linnea. These are the friends with kids so it is harder to get time together. it was nice to be able to hang out with them and catch up!

* I've been thinking a lot about the fact that i'm on depression med's. i for one am not ashamed or embarrassed to be on them but i have come across people lately who say they are unhappy but refused to be on depression med's because they should be able to make themselves happy. i have thought a lot about that and wondered if i should have tried harder to make myself happy. i have come to the compulsion that i did all that i could to be happy and i did have happy moments but it was the bad times where i would sit and cry for hours over absolutely nothing that made me want to get help. I realized that my uncontrollable mood swings were out of my control and that it just had to be a chemical imbalance because there is no way i would have let myself be so unhappy. I told myself that it was sick of wasted days of crying and i wanted to take my life into my own hands so i got help. and you know what i don't regret a bit of that decision. i have been happy nearly everyday (of course i get upset about normal things but now i can get over them without a complete melt down)

* I've had this overwhelming erge to have a baby lately. i have all this nerturing in me that is just dieing to be released. I love throwing parties because it is a good reason to make fun foods. i love making foods by scratch. i love making my house a home. it love every bit of taking care of mat (even though he doesn't let me take care of him as much as i would like to) i like making him breakfast and lunch and dinner. i love doing his laundry. But this nurturing can only go so far. Now just to convince him that he wants a baby within the next two years.

Halloween Fun

What a wonderful Halloween weekend! Friday i threw a pretty fun Halloween party at my house. even though not all the people who said they were coming came we all still had a good time and did a lot of laughing. Saturday i had to work 10-7 and boy was i hung over! it was so miserable to be stuck in the checkstand feeling like i was going to throw up at any minute. good thing jared was there to let me out when ever i needed him to.... yeah i puked 5 times at work... trust me not something i'm proud of! But eventually i discovered the miracle of 7up and i was feeling much better and the rest of the day at work went get! After work i came home and rested up a bit then headed to Mat's friends Elliott's Halloween party. I didn't really know anyone and the girls all seemed young and skanky and not so interesting so i basically just stood around and people watched. These parties aren't for me i much rather throw a small intimate party with people i know where u don't will crowded and claustrophobic. we didn't stay too late but it was an interesting way to spend Halloween night. over all i think Halloween turned out pretty fun and my $30 poodle skirt was well used lol