updating my list of thing to do before i'm thirty

I've been thinking a lot of all the things i want to accomplish before I'm 30 lately and I was curious how I'm doin on the list i made...

*Party like a rock star

*Full day at a spa (I've gotten a full body massage and a pedicure at one time but I'm not sure if I'd count this as a full day)

*lose 50lbs (once again on my diet unfortunately that 50 lbs is more like 80 these days)

*have a kid

*spoil my mom

*meet my dad

*better my credit

*week long vacation out of the country

*have a savings

*climb a rock wall

*be at least a second assistant (this is something i can say i have actually accomplished! it feels good to have SOMETHING crossed off the list)

*wear a pair of designer shoes with a little black dress

*volunteer regularly

So I haven't really done as much as I would like on this list and I only have 3.5 years to get these things done! It seems like a long time but damn does time fly! I think I need to start actively working on this list. So here's to accomplishing things in life!

Sometime's things just happen that you have no control over

Well I know I have tweeted about this situation and maybe not in the most flattering way possible but that is simply because tweets are meant to be in the moment. I rarely think through a tweet but react in the moment. Sometimes when I'm in a moment I express feelings that aren't necessarily how I feel about everything but an emotionally charged reaction to feeling hurt or betrayed. Anyways I have done lots of reflecting and I know that it is impossible to go back the way things were with this old friend I had, but I'm feeling OK with that these days.

This friend I had has been a friend to me for many years. I have to add that we have been friends off and on over these years. Most arguments start with a disagreement over a boy which is quite sad but a fact. We first became friends in high school when I moved to Kirkland. She was the first person to offer me a place to eat at lunch. We were inseparable all through high school to the point that people were annoyed by us. We were such fun loving girls who went to school together, worked together and went on family vacations together. Our first fight was in high school when we were fighting over a boy we worked with. We went weeks without talking and grew apart in the process. Unfortunately a horrible thing happened to this friend and we realized how much we meant to each other so our friendship began just where it had left off, like no time had passed. We had an amazing senior year and made so many great memories that I will remember for my entire life.

The summer after we graduated she met her future husband and our relationship drifted once again. We were growing apart in two different directions. We didn't have any real conflicts and we still worked with each other. I was even in her wedding. But our friendship wasn't the same( I was in the party hard stage of my life and she was settling down).

We started to become close again when she started having struggles in her life. I wanted to be there for her and help her through the hard times. I gave her an escape from the life that had made her depressed and in turn I had gotten my friend back. It was so nice to have these fun times with her again and we were building amazing memories once again. We were both helping each other grow but with grown comes changes and once again we started heading in two different directions. She had developed a new found freedom and she wanted to experience everything she hadn't in the past few years while I was settling down and had a different outlook on life. I admit that as the friend looking into her life I was concerned about her getting hurt since she had become so fragile in her struggles in the past. I felt the need to protect her (in her eyes it even looked like I was trying to control her) I didn't want her to struggle anymore and of course being the strong willed women I am, I thought I knew what was best for her.

This friend of mine is also a very strong willed women and she wanted to experience life her way. This in turn caused us to butt heads once again. Yes the arguments seemed to usually stem from relationships with men but I have learned that they were much deeper than that. We are just two very strong women with two different outlooks on how to live life. I admit that I was more to blame for our friendship ending in the end. I just couldn't sit by and watch my friend put herself in situations where I knew she could end up crying over.

So I guess I am using this blog as a bit of closure on this situation. I want to say sorry to everyone that has had to be in the middle of all of this unnecessary drama. I also want to wish my old friend all the best in her life. I know that she will do well. She is strong willed and she knows what she wants and she goes for it. I'm glad to see she is living a happy life and she has so many friends to support her and be there for her.

Who knows we've become friends again in the past so you never know what the future holds. I know that if either of us truly needed each other we would be there and I guess that's all you really need in life sometimes.

bills... Bills... BILLS

Well, I guess I should finally confess: I am a bill avoider! I have stacks and stacks and stacks of mail taunting me in my car, on our desk, and in our mail slots... and I just AVOID them at all costs! I tend to just to ignore things that stress me out and bills is a HUGE stress! First of all they are way too much money and I don't even know where to begin to start paying them. The amounts on those stupid sheets of paper from doctor offices and from dentist offices have too many options on how to pay. Should I write a check and send it in? Should I write down my card info and send that in? I can't possibly pay this entire amount all at once. What if I call to make payment arraignments and they say " NO, you HAVE to pay in full RIGHT NOW!" What if they are mean to me and treat me like a low class person b/c I have outstanding bills.
Seriously these are the things that keep me avoiding those bills stacked high around my life!

Yesterday I had a break through! I opened my mail! Every last bit of it! I found all the bills that need to be paid and I put them neatly in a stack with all intention on calling them and setting up a payment arraignment! The only problem with that is, that I have actually got to call them! That is my plan for today. I have serious anxiety about this and if I get one little problem with setting up a payment plan I will be ruined on this for probably another 6 months!

This is by far the worst part of being an adult. It all started with going to college. I deem this to be my biggest mistake in life. I got thousands and thousands of dollars in student loans without knowing ANYTHING about them. I still don't understand them. It have god knows how many different student loans. How do I know which one to start paying back first? How do I even know who do call? All this money I owe and I don't even have a degree to show. (but this is another blog all together)

Anyways, I have two years to get my debit under control and start to bring my credit up to a respectable place so that we can buy a house! Please wish me luck and support me in any way you can because I really want a house!

Fantastic Fall!

I just love this time of year I always feel so crafty. I love changing the decor to my fall decorations! I haven't gotten much new since last years shopping spree (fall for $40) but i still love what i have for our small apartment!

This year a made a new wreath that i saw on the cover of Women's Day Magazine.

What you will need

A styrofoam wreath
black duct tape
2 bags of candy corn
glue gun
fun fall ribbon
Spray sealant
PATIENCE: i gave myself an entire day to make the wreath b/c i needed breaks but i would say it probably wouldn't take longer then 2 hrs if you worked straight.

So at first i though i would paint the styrofoam black but realized it would take A LOT of paint plus the hot glue would probably melt it. Then i wanted to just paint regular duct tape black but then i realized i didn't even have regular duct tape so i figured i would just buy black duct tape. I found it for a little over $3 at walmart. more than $2 less then at safeway where i was going to originally buy it but i forgot. i also got the candy corn from there... less than $2 per bag. The most expensive part of the wreath is the styrofoam wreath which was about $8 at micheals. way more then i was expecting to spend on it but worth it. oh and the spray sealant i got was from Micheals as well and it was around 47 as well. ( i used the whole can)

So you start by wrapping the wreath with the black duct tape.I made sure to do it as tight and as smoothly as i could. this part was pretty simple.

Then the magazine suggested that you layout the candy corn before gluing it on. Something i would have never had done on my own but I'm really glad i did b/d getting them on evenly and in a good pattern proved way more difficult then i expected. i laid out the front of the wreath first then glued it down then moved onto the outside edge gluing as i went and then the inside. This is a pain staking process but if you are patience it turn out pretty good. I made sure to take long breaks so i didn't get burned out.

once glued on i brought the wreath outside and sprayed a coat of sealant on it and let it dry then flipped it over and added the sealant from the back to get all edges of the candy corn. Once dry i added the ribbon. the magazine had a black ribbon pictured but i went with a fun and festive fall ribbon and i tied a bow at the top of the wreath to add a little flair.

i hung the wreath on my front door and was very please

Horror struck the next time it rained! The moisture in the air proved that the sealant hadn't completely sealed the wreath and i awoke with a puddle of sticky goo in my door way and a melty wreath. i brought it inside and let it dry and took inventory on the wreath. Only a couple candy corns fell of so i glued them back on, too off the ribbon and then resealed the wreath. Second time was the charm and i haven't had a sticky problem with the wreath since.

it is so much fun to have a wreath that i made hanging from my front door! i think i will add just a touch more sealant and then store it away at the end of the season and see if it lasts till next yr... i'll make sure that i store it alone in case it melts on hot summer day!

Twitter

Oh how i love me some twitter!
i am purely and 100% addicted!!
I love to post all my random thoughts! i know that everyone truly does care when i take a shower and that I'm currently laying in bed. i find twitter as a grand human study where you go to find yourself surrounded by people just like you! I have gotten to know so many amazing people through twitter! I admit there are times i feel like a bit of a crazy stocker following someone and all of the people that they follow. I feel like i have who new groups of friend from twitter. never mind that i haven't ever really met anyone of them.
Twitter is also an amazing place to get help. Say you have a problem. all you need to do is tweet about it and instantly you can get a grand variety of answers back that completely help you out! Also if your feeling down your amazing followers always know just the right thing to say to make you feel not so crazy.
I have gotten so many ideas from twitter as well. ideas as to what to cook, what to craft, places to go, things to eat.
I have gotten new blogs to follow! this is really a great thing because i had been recently turned off from blogging because the blogs i follow and enjoy are at times ran by such bitchy snobbing girls who turn their noses up at people who are a little more out spoken and non-reserved as they are. sorry i don't have a stick up my ass!
Anyways i thought a short little blog to let y'all know i'm still alive was in order. I am seriously going to try and start my blogging again. i swear!