it's been a while

It has been a while and people have actually taken notice that i haven't updated in a while so i thought i would sit down and write a little about what has gone one in the past few weeks. A lot has changed and we have gone through a lot. Work has changed slightly in that i have taken my test for RLD... This is that training that Safeway puts you through in order to become an assistant manager and hopefully eventually a store manager. This test is a test of your skills and your knowledge as well as a slight personality test to asses if you would make a good manager or if there are still things you need to learn to move forward. That being said i have NO IDEA how i did on the test. We get our results back in mid-march and i am hoping very much that i pass but i will not let myself be upset if i don't. It is a test that not everyone passes the first time. I hope that i pass but if i don't i will take what i can learn and try to pass next time. the worst thing would be if i became an assistant when i wasn't ready and i was completely overwhelmed by the job. If i do pass the test there are a few other steps before i am excepted into RLD training. there will be a background test, a managers evaluation as well as a panel interview with two store managers and someone from human resources. if i pass all these steps THEN i will be accepted in RLD! wish me luck!
Another change at work is that i will be doing the MEDS... these are all the ends of the aisles that change every week when our ad changes. This change is exciting because it gives me more chance to learn about things i don't know yet. it is also a bit of a change because i will be working at 4am three days a week! a big change from my 4pm to midnight shift i have become quite used to. I will also be closing the other two days a week so hopefully i will be able to live through that change. I for one know i don't know everything and there is nothing i hate more then feeling completely confused and overwhelmed at something i really want to do. i know that one day I'll be able to do everything i just need to learn how, the difficult part for me is that i get upset when i don't get things right the first time. I'm trying to work on that.
We got a dining room table FINALLY! as well as a new book shelf for the computer room. It is so exciting to see my home finally coming together. Mat and i have grown so much as a couple. We started with NOTHING! We had barely been officially dating when we moved in together and we had no furniture. we used my old twin bed as a couch and got hand me down coffee table and chair. we never had a dining room table and when we would through party's we would barrow a card table from my parents! Now, i would have kept buying low quality stuff that would be good for a quick fix but mat outlawed anymore hand me downs and stressed the meaning of quality furniture and eventually i saw the light. so we saved money and bought each piece of quality furniture piece by piece. first our bedroom dressers and night stand, then our TV and TV stand, then our couch and coffee table. Finally we had an apartment that could fit a dining room table yet still we had to save so we could buy a quality wood dining room table that could seat six, i wanted it to have a leaf that could make the table bigger or smaller. These are the things i wanted and that stopped us from just getting a table at ikea, which we had picked out and almost bought but couldn't fit in our car. The book shelf we got is really exciting as well. we had a small book shelf that could barely hold all my books and games and it just didn't look pretty. this book self is nearly three times larger and it holds all my book and mats book and our games as well as picture frames! it really makes the room feel so much better! i can just sit a stare at the book case beaming with joy! I'm so domestic i love it!
Mat's mom also passed away about two weeks ago. This has been a difficult time for mat and his family, as well for me. She was a big hearted women who loved her family so much! Mat may not have been super close with his mom but he saw her way more then i see my mom, i saw her more then i see my mom. She was always there for him whenever he needed help. I know that she will be extremely missed by everyone she knew. The only thing i can do is be here for mat. I wish i could take some of his pain and feel it for him. I know that this is going to be a long process that will never go away but i know mat will be OK. He is so strong and i am so proud of him! I love him so much and i can't wait to see the bright future i know we will have together.
Over all it has been a pretty intense few weeks but i seemed to live through it all. It seems like in times like this i turned to live in the present. I didn't constantly make plans for what i was going to do next. i didn't plan out every step of that day, i didn't plan out every detail of a night out and i didn't worry about these things either. it was kind of nice to live in the now. not worrying about the future whether it be a day or a year away. i hope i will be able to do that more in the future.