Tuesday, January 27, 2009

laying around reading

i'm on the fourth book: breaking dawn, laying on the floor in front of the heater in my empty dining room for what is probably the last time. We are will hopefully filling this room with a dining room table on friday! but of now I will enjoy this warmth and read this book. I gotta finish by saturday for mine and Debbie road trip to forks!!!!!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

i could never be a doctor!

I could never be a doctor, or a nurse, because i feel the need to solve everyone's problems. i, for some reason, feel like i know what is best for everyone and if i could just make them see then they would have the best life ever! i have done this my whole life. I remember going to visit my real dads side of the family when i was younger for the first and only time. i remember they lived in a small town where you could walk the length of the street in ten minutes. they were all tom boys and for some reason coming from a bigger "city" i felt that i held the light to the ideal world. i remember telling them how they should dress and what they should be interested in. i remember saying i would send them a box full of cute clothes and stuff for them. I think back on that now and worry that they thought i was a total bitch. such a know it all! i never did send them the package and i haven't really kept in touch with that side of the family at all.
Another example is my mom. My mom is a server alcoholic. as a kid i would take care of her, worry that she would stop breathing when she would pass out, cover her with a blanket each night. With all of this alcoholism i still felt like i was the one who would fix her. i would talk to her everyday cry about it to her i would make comments every time she would leave the house to buy beer thinking that i was helping her that if only i could make her see how much better her life would be when she stopped drinking that she would just stop!
I just got into a fight with one of my closest friends because of the same problem. I see what a wonderful life she could have. She is such a wonderful person but she is afraid to do things that hold her back. for the longest time i would point out these things she did in hopes to make her see what a better life she would have if she just changed... did something differently.
But you know what i can't control these peoples life's. i can't determine what kind of life they have or what they are interested in. Why do i feel like i have all the answers and everyone else i just blind? How do i fix this feeling so i don't push anyone else away? i worry that i could have had a better relationship with my extended family if i didn't come off so rude. Maybe my mom would have gotten help sooner if i had just listened and helped rather then bringing her down further. And i truly hope that one day i don't say something that pushes away this friend i have.

100 things

i Got this from another blog... Tranquility... and Turmoil I thought it would be a fun thing to do! I wish i had more to cross off but i am stil lyoung and i hope to be able to cross off alot ofthese things... and of course there are a few that i hope i never have to cross off like Been transported in an ambulance or Had food poisoning.

Bold the items you have done

1. Started your own blog.
2. Slept under the stars.
3. Played in a band.
4. Visited Hawaii.
5. Watched a meteor shower.
6. Given more than you can afford to charity.
7. Been to Disneyland.
8. Climbed a mountain.
9. Held a praying mantis.
10. Sang a solo.
11. Bungee jumped.
12. Visited Paris.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch.
15. Adopted a child.
16. Had food poisoning.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty.
18. Grown your own vegetables.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France.
20. Slept on an overnight train.
21. Had a pillow fight.
22. Hitch hiked.
23. Taken a sick day when you're not sick.
24. Built a snow fort.
25. Held a lamb.
26. Gone skinny dipping.
27. Run a marathon.
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice.
29. Seen a total eclipse. (lunar)
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.
31. Hit a home run.
32. Been on a cruise.
33. Seen Niagra Falls in person.
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors.
35. Seen and Amish community.
36. Taught yourself a new language.
37. Had enough money to truly be satisfied.
38. Seen the leaning tower of Pisa in person.
39. Gone rock climbing.
40. Seen Michelangelo's David.
41. Sung karaoke.
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt.
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant.
44. Visited Africa.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight.
46. Been transported in an ambulance.
47. Had your portrait painted.
48. Gone deep sea fishing.
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person.
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling.
52. Kissed in the rain.
53. Played in the mud.
54. Gone to a drive-in theater.
55. Been in a movie.
56. Visited the Great Wall of China.
57. Started a business.
58. Taken a martial arts class.
59. Visited Russia.
60. Served in a soup kitchen.
61. Sold Girl Scout cookies.
62. Gone whale watching.
63. Gotten flowers for no reason.
64. Donated blood, platelets, or plasma.
65. Gone sky diving.
66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp.
67. Bounced a check.
68. Flown in a helicopter.
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial.
71. Eaten caviar.
72. Pieced a quilt.
73. Stood in Times Square.
74. Toured the Everglades.
75. Been fired from a job.
76. Seen the changing of the guards in London.
77. Broken a bone.
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle.
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person.
80. Published a book.
81. Been to the Vatican.
82. Bought a brand new car.
83. Walked in Jerusalem.
84. Had your picture in the paper.
85. Read the entire Bible.
86. Visited the White House.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.
88. Had Chicken pox.
89. Saved someone's life.
90. Sat on a jury.
91. Met someone famous.
92. Joined a book club.
93. Lost a loved one.
94. Had a baby.
95. Seen the Alamo in person.
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake.
97. Been involved in a lawsuit.
98. Owned a cell phone.
99. Been stung by a bee.
100. Read an entire book in one day.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

sundays weigh in.... reported on monday

Well today is monday (12:01 am so tuesday actually) so I GUESS it is time to report on how my sunday weigh in went. drum roll once again please.... I lost another 1.5lbs!!! that brings my total to 16.5 lbs!!! pretty exciting. I still struggle everyday (especially at night) to stay on track but every time I do I grow so proud of myself! today was one of those struggles. I am sick and so feel as I am entitled to eat whatever I want so I feel better! I know this, so I gathered low calorie options to make me feel better and planned my night... a good book, a heating pad, chicken soup and oj... what more could I want? PIZZA!!! oh how I long for pizza everyday! it has to be my favorite food... my biggest food weakness! so so so yummy! anyways I arrived home with wellness night goodies in hand and all I could think of was pizza. I got out the ads we have on our fridge. I carefully choice what deal was best for us... Large pizza and wings for $15.99. I got my wallet out and had my phone in hand and I talked myself out of it! I didn't want to ruin all the work I had done! all the work I know I still have to do! I am proud that I made it over that hurdle. now just to make it through the rest of the night without another piece of texas toast and no sneaking one of mats bite size twix! oh the temptations!!!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

oh the way life is...

The first few weeks of this year have been interesting to say the least. i have been on my diet and doing pretty well if i do say so myself!
i have been pretty good at keeping to my budget and have actually been able to save a couple extra dollars with the dream of Vegas on the horizon! We are most defiantly are going the first week for June. I am hoping to go from June 1st to June 5Th. Ideally i would love to stay at planet Hollywood or at the flamingo in a GO room but anything will do as long as we go. i hope to see a show while we are there. lay by the pool, and save enough money to do all we want to do and go shopping (one of our fav activities while in Vegas!) i also hope to lose some weight by the time we go so one i can wear skimpy clothes in the heat and two so it is easier to walk around Vegas.
I have had pretty great days. by this i mean that have been at work and in a good mood pretty much everyday this year. This is something i am really try hard at keeping up because i makes life so much easier. It is annoying how my whole day can be taken over by a bad mood!
I have also been having troubles with a friend of mine. troubles that aren't easily defined or resolved but something that we both know need to be deal with. I have been taking some times to think things through. I am happy to have this person as a friend and in no way want to end our friendship. this is the main reason for the need for space. We both need to figure things out and learn how to deal with things better so that we can have a more healthy and happy relationship!
i have still been having stomach aches every now and then that have been pretty annoying so i just made a doctors appointment for my yearly and while I'm there i will mention it to her. I'm guessing it has mostly to do with my eating habits but i am hoping she can give me some insight in how to deal with my tummy troubles.
I just finished reading Twilight. It was my reward for losing 15lbs and you know what it was a pretty great reward! i was super hesitant to read it b/c i thought it was a book for kids. I thought it was dorky and mat and i just laughed when i bought it and joked that now i have to read it while i walk to really feel the part (such a jerk thing to say i know) but i loved the book. It was such a cute love story and not all sci fi light i thought maybe it would have been. I t was so easy to read that i finished it in three days ( i could have done it in one but i do i have a life hello!) i never finish books that fast! in fact i still haven't finished the last book i tried to read: Valley Of The Dolls. Anyways now i am totally addicted and i will be buying all the other books as well!
Anyways i guess that is the majority of things i have to say for the beginning of the year. if the first few weeks have anything to say about the year i have a lot to look forward to!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Sunday... weight in time

so it is the first Sunday since i have officially been BACK ON THE DIET!! i woke up bright and early this morning and weighted myself... down .5lbs making it a total of -15.5 which is pretty good if i do say so my self! it could have been a lot worse considering it was Christmas and new years... I'm just glad i didn't gain back TONS of weight! my goal is to lose 10 more lbs by Valentine's day. i have a pencil skirt i have yet to wear and it would be fun to wear it out on Valentine's day! my next REWARD is when i get to 19.5 lbs (4 lbs away!) which is my 10% goal and i will get a manicure!! i still haven't gotten my last reward which is a hard cover book and a day of reading. i think I'll pick up the book today and read tomorrow. I have decided on Twilight! everyone seems to recommend it so I'm gonna go for it!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

10 truths

So Brianna did the 10 truths and asked whoever else wanted to, to do it also. I, of course, am totally on board!

1. I spend way too much money, period. i spend so much money on random stuff and un-necessary food that by the end of the week all of my money is gone and i don't have anything good to show for it!

2. In 5Th grade i was the tallest girl in the school and everyone thought i should play basketball. I went to one basketball workshop thing and then stopped and became girly/lazy/fat... lol

3. i seriously probably go on facebook/myspace/twitter/blogger 40+ times a day without fail. I can access them from my phone and i tend to check them ever 15minutes... i need to get a life!

4. i tend to use this odd ability on all these types of things but my tongue can touch my nose... the main reason i got it pierced (for decoration) oh another truth would be that i can't for the life of me remember how to spell TONGUE.... i just had to google the word to find the spelling!

5. i very rarely buy things for myself. All of the best things i own jacket/zune/all my jeans/most clothes really i have gotten as gifts

6. i was super obsessed with HANSON growing up. I had a box filled with HANSON momentous and when i went to their concert i cried b/c i knew i would never be able to meet them and it made me super sad.

7. Going to college at the Art Institute right out of high school was my biggest mistake of my life. I have absolutely nothing to show from it but thousands of dollars in student loans!

8. I have never had a real boyfriend other then mat of any real period of time and sometimes i wonder if that will come back to bite me in the butt, but then i realize how happy we are and i forget about it.

9. growing up i didn't have many friends and my best friend lived in another city or i spend most of my lunches and recesses alone in the library playing Oregon trail or reading.

10. In high school i was so in love with a group of boys that i sat across from in English/history that i would stare at them through the whole class... they totally thought i was a stocker it was pretty weird.. can't wait to see them at the Reunion... lol

OK well that are my ten truths.. .really they aren't that exciting but they are all i could think of!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Diet Diet Dieting!!

OK well once again i am still on my diet KINDA!!! i was going to start on the 1st and i weighed myself (i had gained .5lbs from the last weight in which i had gotten back to my 15lbs lost so i have a total loss of 14.5lbs now) anyways i weighed myself and was good for most of the day till movie night happened and sitting around with mat watching movies just makes me want to eat eat eat! so i wasn't so great on my diet till i went back to work! so I'm back to work and back and focused on my diet! i swear i will be doing good for now on! i swear! my main focus is looking hot for Laura's wedding! lol. also i would like to feel good about myself this summer so i can walk around like a half naked girls in the sun! lol so i am back at it am at least i hope to lose another five lbs before i fall off the wagon again!
i also still have to get my 15 lbs reward which was a new book. i haven't really gotten it yet because i kinda felt like a fake rewarding myself when i wasn't sticking to my diet. so i hope to stick to it this week at and i will reward myself with a twilight book when i get back to down 15lbs. twilight is a book that i ave been hesitant to start reading because it is such a crazy craze with all the young kids today that i feel i don't relate to at all these days but i have gotten several recommendations from people my page or older so i am going to check it out! i hope it is worth it!

Saturday, January 3, 2009


This i have to say has been one of the most amazing parties i have thrown. it was so much fun that so many people dressed the party we had a real competition going for the prize which i totally didn't expect! there were new people that hadn't been to a party along with people who we haven't seen in a long time. over all i have to say i was so happy with everything. the food was perfectly white trash and yet pretty tasty! lol here are some more pictures of the night

Friday, January 2, 2009

white trash new years pre view

so my camera some how went home with Kristin and Tara so i don't have the pictures to upload but i do have a few that i took with my phone... hopefully my camera will produce a few more pictures that show you all the crazy fun we had!