Vacation

Well i was on vacation for the last week and boy did i have a great time! Sunday night me and the girls left for the truller where we spend two nights and two days relaxing, playing card games (phase ten can get pretty intense!) We even grabbed some intertubes and floated in the lake even though the weather wasn't the best. We mostly just hung out and giggled like a bunch of girls! it was really nice. Unfortunately i didn't have my memory card in my camera and i can't find the cord to take the pics off my actually camera so i don't really have any pics besides the one's i took with my phone.

Wednesday i planned a fun day with mat so that we could make the most of the really nice weather. we drove up to northwest trek where we saw some cool animals (left my camera in the car so more phone pics) we had a ice pic nic lunch in the park. I have been wanting to go there for a long time so pretty exciting that we were able to go. After that park we drove over to Mt rainer where we did a bit of hiking (god damn i'm out of shape!) and then drove around a bit getting some great views!

Thursday i turned 25! I started my day off on a grand foot going to my doctors appointment. after that i was feeling pretty good about life. mat and i went and saw the new harry potter movie (i gotta say it wasn't my fav but it was good) then after the movie we changed and headed to dinner at Daniel's Broiler in Bellevue. it was a very very nice restraunt on the 21st floor of the Hyatt hotel. After our og so yummy dinner of ceasar salad, fillet minion and baked potatoe and desert of cheese cake and chocolate covered strawberries we headed to seattle for theater sports. We were early because we actually got a really great parking spot right in pikes place so we went to the Pikes brew company for a couple of drinks before the show. The show was so funny (a bunch on improve) My face hurt from laughing so hard! After that we headed back toward our home when we decided we wanted chips and salsa so we headed to our new fav Mexican restaurant in Bothell and got chips and salsa and some margaritas! it was a perfect end to a perfect day! Mat made turning 25 not so bad!

Friday we just sat around the house relaxing and trying to beat the heat (i heard it was the hottest day all week so good thing we staied indoors)

Saturday was my birthday party. Or my Quarter Life Crisis get together with friends as i liked to call it! First i got together with my girls and we all got pedicures together which was so nice to be able to do with all my best friends! After we headed back to my house where we met everyone else then headed to the Rock for dinner! we got buckets and split pizza. The Rock has got to be my all time favorite restraint it is just so much fun and they are so good with big groups. our waitress even split all our bills up separately! seriously it was a grand time! After that we headed back to my house where we played rock band and drank some more... there was some random almost hookups and A LOT of laughing. overall i have to say i think it was a successful birthday party. I'm glad i didn't allow myself my micromanage everything thing and so in turn i didn't stress or worry at all.

Thursday Night Mariners game

Well last night was a night to remember. it was good times to say the least! it was fun to switch up the usual group we hang out with and boy does a change in one person make a difference! Debbie, Mat and i were joined by Jared another (model-esqus man) co-worker, he is 22yrs old and quite the partier. We picked him up around 4:30pm to head to the game and one of the first things he tells us when he got in the car is that he is drunk. OK I'm sorry but that was too funny. We picked up Debbie from work and headed to Seattle in god awful traffic (thank god for car pool!) we arrived and found a pretty decent parking spot right across the street from a lovely little bar where we decided to stop and get a few drinks. Debbie, Mat and I all had a shot of jager and boy did that hit Debbie like a ton of bricks! She hadn't ate anything all day. So drunk Debbie and i headed off to the vendors to find this girl some food so she wouldn't get sick. we split a hot dog and she had some chips then headed back to the bar to find the boys. Arriving back i could tell mat was feeling his alcohol (he had to try and keep up with Jared's drinking all night) so he peer pressured Debbie into having another shot... this time tequila, and i had another shot of jager. Well this was probably not the best idea of Debbie but hey all in the name of fun right!
At the table i was the only sober one so i ordered us nachos and mini corn dogs to share. Debbie was feeling spinney so the first half of the game was kind of consumed with making sure everyone was eating and drinking water. It was good though because the game didn't get good until the 8Th inning where two runners on base and someone hit a home run to get 3 runs for the mariners and they won! Too bad i was in the bathroom with an upset stomach and missed it all!!!! Damn junk food!
After the game we headed to Jared's house where we met his dog and his friends. he then wanted us to head out to TIME OUT in Kirkland but i wasn't really feelin it (being the DD all night) plus Debbie was best to go home and try to sleep off the alcohol. So mat and i dropped Debbie off at her car and headed to The Rock where i was able to catch the missed part of the game on the TV and Mat and i shared buffalo wings (i only had 2 b/c the tummy still wasn't 100%)
over all it was an interesting night (i left out a few details to protect the innocent!)

Birthday vacation begins

today is my official first day of my 10+ days of vacation! it is so funny because people keep asking me how many vacations do you get? well we get the normal amount of vacations... 3 weeks (for some reason i thought it was 4 but Linnea corrected me lol) we just happened to group them together this year. Our first vacation this year was in April for mats birthday. we always take out birthday weeks off because what better time to take a vacation really? Then we took the first week of June off because when we signed up at the beginning of the year we had planned on going to Vegas that week. plans changed and no money was had so we just stayed at home for both of those vacations. This week is my birthday week and i am actually going somewhere! Sunday night to Tuesday i am going to the truller with my girls! I am so excited and so happy to actually be doing something over vacation you have no idea!
I suggest never having a very busy summer because without a doubt the next summer will turn out to be disappointing! Well it is just that last year we did SO much and it seemed like i was constantly doing something and i thought that is what this summer was going to be like also.... little did i know I just wouldn't be doing much.
But let me tell you about one great day i have had this summer so far... It was my birthday gift to Tara to spend a fun filled day together! we went kayaking and then to the aquarium. we had dinner at Red Robin on the water front then went on a 2.5 hr harbor cruise through the Locks! we had perfect weather and of course we are perfect company to each other! I really enjoy these days we have with each other!

Oh and i have to say i LOVE how excited Tara looks in this picture! she absolutely LOVED the petting part of the aquarium

roller coastering

I have long wondered how people can be so happy all the time.
Well let say the least my week hasn't been that great. come to think of it the last few months haven't been so great. Don't get me wrong i have had some good days and some great days but still i have found myself feeling down. Down about what might you ask oh i don't know... anything and everything. and y do i write about this so casually? because it is all so ridiculous. I have been having horrible and i mean horrible mood swings that lead into a downward spiral of crying and fighting over nearly nothing. it has all been so uncontrollable and i have felt so helpless. These mood swings have affected several of my relationships including my relationship with Mat. I have let change of plans ruin more then a few days and for what? to sit at home alone and cry. it has gotten ridiculous and i just can't take it anymore. So i have made a doctors appointment to talk about depression.
Now i have always been a dramatic person. I have gotten attention with my over reactions... but never have a i felt out of control of my emotions like i do now. Never have i watched myself fall into a downward spiral so fast and so deep and not be able to get myself out of it. It has scared me for a while now and i feel so relieved to be able to finally see that there is maybe a little hope in the future.
So July 16Th 2009 on my 25Th birthday i will be meeting with my doctor and i am hoping that i will be able to finally be able to start to feel normal again and have a some kind of control over my emotions.

Are you sure you aren't inviting yourself?

i grew up with my mom always asking me this when i would make plans with a friend. i swear she embedded the idea that i am always inviting myself somewhere... i am always overstaying my welcome etc. also when i was at a friends house my mom would tell me to always help clean up and be useful for the parents so they don't regret me being there or something. i would a lot of times be more helpful then the friend i was staying with. i would clean up the kitchen while my friend sat and watched TV. i have never really had a problem with being helpful but as an adult i have grown to not want to tag along or somewhere where i don't feel welcome even if it is with a good friend. I had a miss understanding today with a friend and it is truly all my fault but it is upsetting because all i wanted to hear was that i was welcome, that i wasn't tagging along, that i wasn't going to be the third wheel. mat told me that i need to learn that some people just don't communicate that way and that i need to take their words at face value and if they aren't saying they don't want me to come then hey they probably want me there! i just need to feel like i am wanted i guess and I'm sure it all goes back to that fact that i have to make sure I'm not inviting myself!

Thanks mom! love ya anyways