I have long wondered how people can be so happy all the time.
Well let say the least my week hasn't been that great. come to think of it the last few months haven't been so great. Don't get me wrong i have had some good days and some great days but still i have found myself feeling down. Down about what might you ask oh i don't know... anything and everything. and y do i write about this so casually? because it is all so ridiculous. I have been having horrible and i mean horrible mood swings that lead into a downward spiral of crying and fighting over nearly nothing. it has all been so uncontrollable and i have felt so helpless. These mood swings have affected several of my relationships including my relationship with Mat. I have let change of plans ruin more then a few days and for what? to sit at home alone and cry. it has gotten ridiculous and i just can't take it anymore. So i have made a doctors appointment to talk about depression.
Now i have always been a dramatic person. I have gotten attention with my over reactions... but never have a i felt out of control of my emotions like i do now. Never have i watched myself fall into a downward spiral so fast and so deep and not be able to get myself out of it. It has scared me for a while now and i feel so relieved to be able to finally see that there is maybe a little hope in the future.
So July 16Th 2009 on my 25Th birthday i will be meeting with my doctor and i am hoping that i will be able to finally be able to start to feel normal again and have a some kind of control over my emotions.