early morning blogging

After working 10 days in a row i finally have the day off and guess what i woke up at 6 am... and that was after going to sleep at 2am. I'm hoping to catch a nap later today! Not really sure why i woke up but the reason i couldn't get back to sleep is because i was thinking about all the things i have to do. A lot for it has to do with the batchelorette party i am throwing and i don't even know why i feel like i have to get things done today because the party isn't for two weeks. i am pretty excited about the party and just hope it turns out as fabulous as i picture it being... i would love to spill my guts about all the plans but i know that the bride (HI LAURA!) reads my blog.


Also things i have to get done today is for the BBQ i decided to throw. No real reason just that we had a HUGE box of ribs in the freezer taking up too much space so i decided to cook them all up and call it a BBQ. i think it will pretty fun. I'm getting excited! But i have a lot of cooking to do for it. i also decided i wanted to make my grams famous Luau pork. that takes 4 hrs in the oven... then the ribs take 2-3 hrs in the oven as well... i plan to make the pork first then keep it warm in the crock pot while the ribs cook. i am trying to spend as little money as possible which is hard for me because i want to have everything. i would love to make my potato salad and mac and cheese and have beer and mikes and tons of chips and pop but i have decided i am only making the meats. everyone else can bring other things. This is hard for me as the controlling one i am.

Also more updates on my life i have started to see a shrink which is a new thing for me. i have always known some time in my life i would need to see one (with an alcoholic mom and an absent father) The reason i finally decided to go is when i decided i was depressed. it was getting in the way of my relationship with mat and my friends. I want to do everything in my power to have healthy mind set so i don't cause unnecessary drama and hopefully have a happy life. I started to see a lot of my mom in myself and as much as i love my mom that scared me. She has a lot of things in her past she has never dealt with and they seem to still haunt her. this is what i believe is why she drinks. i don't want to turn out dwelling on things in my life now when i am fifty years old. i want to look back on my life and be proud and smile at all the wonderful memories i have made!

Other then these things nothing else too exciting is going on. next week is a busy one because of the wedding shower, Tara and Kristin are moving two blocks from me (so damn excited!) i am spending the day with Laura, and then finally camping once again on Saturday night! So hopefully i will be blogging more often then i have been but we will see... I'm not making any promises