Are you sure you aren't inviting yourself?

i grew up with my mom always asking me this when i would make plans with a friend. i swear she embedded the idea that i am always inviting myself somewhere... i am always overstaying my welcome etc. also when i was at a friends house my mom would tell me to always help clean up and be useful for the parents so they don't regret me being there or something. i would a lot of times be more helpful then the friend i was staying with. i would clean up the kitchen while my friend sat and watched TV. i have never really had a problem with being helpful but as an adult i have grown to not want to tag along or somewhere where i don't feel welcome even if it is with a good friend. I had a miss understanding today with a friend and it is truly all my fault but it is upsetting because all i wanted to hear was that i was welcome, that i wasn't tagging along, that i wasn't going to be the third wheel. mat told me that i need to learn that some people just don't communicate that way and that i need to take their words at face value and if they aren't saying they don't want me to come then hey they probably want me there! i just need to feel like i am wanted i guess and I'm sure it all goes back to that fact that i have to make sure I'm not inviting myself!

Thanks mom! love ya anyways