I know what it is like to feel unhappy and so i never want that for my friends but have come to the conclusion that there is nothing i can do to make them happy.
I don't know if i got all my friends paranoid after i broke up with our friend Maika or what but they have told me that they are worried that they will do something and i won't want to be friends with them anymore. Now i don't know why they would think things like that. I thought they all realized that the situation with Maika was a long time coming. She wasn't a good friend. She didn't put in effort to be a friend and she was far too judgemental. I thought we all agreed it would be best for us all to not be friends with her. I thought that until i have heard more than twice in the last month that they are afraid to lose my friendship by doing something wrong. and there doesn't seem to be anything i can do or say to reassure them that i am not going anywhere. I have written about how great they are in this blog. i have given them framed poems i wrote for each of them telling them how important they are to me yet they still have dough's. I want to make them all happy and care free but i have come to the conclusion that it isn't my responsibility to care for them. they are the only ones that can make themselves happy. so i am going to continue being their friend and be there when they need me. i will listen to their problems and offer my advice but i am freeing myself from the need to give them their happiness because i have to worry about my own happiness.
i know you guys are reading this and i love you all know that and never dough it because all you are doing is causing yourself unnecessary grief and pain. We may have different interests and we may not do every thing together but that doesn't make our friendship and weaker. and that doesn't mean we are going to grow apart!